Nehemiah and January

I've been in a lot of Old Testament tales as of late. I read through Nehemiah last night. So many things came to mind. Passion for a people and a place. Focus on God through adversity. The miraculous way God provides. The joy of the Lord is your strength(8:10).

I have both a peace and an anxiousness about a lot of things right now. It's weird when you have moments of God's spirit interacting with yours. It's often in ways that you cannot put into exact words. It's like trying to describe deja vu I suppose. Anyway, I was in my car heading home when I got a sweeping sense about things going to "be ok" with a certain relational uncertainty I am having. That's the best way I can describe it. It was a sense of happiness. I wish I could articulate it better, or what it means.

On the other front of my life I'm working on my whole where to live/work thing for January. I really do have a peace about it. I have a confidence in who I am and the gifts that God has given me and the way that people see that. I absolutely know things will fall into place. I think it is also alright to admit a little fear or uncertainty and it not be detrimental to my faith. I wonder what I can learn from Nehemiah.

Hmmm, in thinking about all these uncertainties right now it does lead me to more peace about that whole "girl" thing. I mean on one hand there is something valuable about the conversations, the support, the joy that comes with that. But I really, really can't imagine being able to give and commit to something the way I would want to right now because of all this flux in my life for this short season. I think it would just make me frustrated and not be my true self ~ instead I think I'd be worried about all the other things in life, overly needy, and distracted.

Hmmmm.

Crunch time. I am trying to figure out if I should go to CH right now and move stuff from my house before it sells Tuesday. I'd have to do it Sunday at the latest I think.

I looked at farm/ranch/land today online. Pretty excited about that. But that's nothing for the next probably 6 months anyway.

Deep down inside I'm still peeking around the door to see if I somehow still get to go to the fair. It's a stretch but hey, crazier things have happened.